Ryan "R. Thies" Thies triumphantly emerged from the womb approximately thirty-one hundred billion years ago...clutching a crude drawing utensil crafted from placenta remnants. Although 'born' in San Angelo, Texas, Ryan is actually a time-traveling extraterrestrial lycanthrope from ((((Orion's Belt)))) Shape-shifting reptilians beware!

Counter Culture group show at Kettle Art Gallery in Deep Ellum TX. June 2012. Photo by George Wallace III

Thies not only found it liberating to write about himself in the third person, but also to write about himself in the third person - talking about himself in the third person. Legend has it that he once stated, "That R. Thies fellow... some say he's an artist - almost quite possibly a demigenius even - but I'd venture to say that he's just a goofy ole quantum weiner head!

R. Thies has made an honest hobby out of his life's work. Mainly known for his strange, suggestive and semi-psychedelic cartoon art, very few people know that he was the first person to tame a twelve-headed sea lion and ride it across the Atlantic Ocean to England.

Ryan actually suffers from Temporal Displacement Dislexia and cannot tell whether he is in the mid-sixties or early nineties; Hyperactive Creativity is his favorite coping mechanism. R. Thies currently resides in San Franseattle - with his albino goldfish - named 'Kitty Cat'.

From an early age, Ryan aspired to write about himself in the third person. He found that the best way to nurture this desire was to become an 'R. Thies' and write an impressive biography, like so many artists do. [Playful sarcasm alert!]

Note: If you've ever seen anything i've posted online and thought, "Geez, this dude is full of himself..." The joke's on you - AND me :) I have a postmodest sense of humor; tongue-in-cheek pretense is very amusing to me. - R. Thies